


Don't survive but live

by Fanmed



Category: Chicago Fire, Chicago Med
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 23:21:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10796880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanmed/pseuds/Fanmed
Summary: Sarah faces a difficult time , she no longer knows where she is . But one night after a hard day she made a simple dream, you have one of her dreams that we do for no reason but that in one night changes our life forever by allowin us to see life , our lives differently #Rheese





	1. The dream

**Chapter 1 : The dream**

 

 

**Sarah**

It was like a dream, you know one of those dreams that we do for no reason but that in one night make us think and allow us to question all our lives

Let’s talk about my life….

So, I am a fourth year medical student at the Chicago Medical Centre in the emergency department because of the planned rolling in the program, a reputed hospital with a really top staff.

And there is me, Sarah Reese the student uncomfortable with people and patients, without being a street disaster

But let's just say that initially I did not see myself being a doctor who heals by interacting with patients. Actually, I am or I was more a person destined to work in a laboratory in the basement of the hospitals where you never see any patients.

My mother Victoria never wanted me to be a doctor and keeps telling me that this job is not for me. Although I have always been the first of my class in all subjects, except for PE, of course, as you surely say it by reading those lines "yes" I have always been a shy “miss-know-it-all”.This role didn’t bother me in any way as long as I managed to achieve my goals.

I always wanted to be a doctor, I wanted to be able to cure people to find a cure for cancer

This bloody illness that cowardly takes our loved ones without any notice. I would have liked that a miracle cure exist, it could have cured my father.

He was the only man in my life, he always encouraged me that I want to become a doctor or all my other dreams even if it was impossible to achieve them. He has always been there ... I miss him

There is a void in me since his disappearance, he was the only person in my family I was close to. I have four brothers but say that a boy remains a boy, I really like them but he overprotected me , It is partly for this reason that I left so far from home to do my internship. I wanted to be able to live my life without anyone telling me how I should live it, you know how to be the sole master of my destiny

All this is not very shining I know, but this is my life and try to handle with this, day after day

In my dream, the one I told you about, my father was present .I think this is was the result of the hard day I had the day before: I had to tell parents that their child who came for a broken arm was going to die because he had a neurodegenerative disease and no cure That there is nothing we can do to heal Parker, an extraordinary little boy who could only be loved.

I could consider, or rather consider, this moment, this day as one of the worst in my life after my father's death.  
Having to announce the future death to the parents and especially to Parker was beyond my strength, but as Dr. Charles had told me:

“When people get bad news like this, they may asked you to clarify think or repeat them , they have to answer all the questions that may be asked of you so that they can accept it. but the most important thing Is that they need to see, to know that there is someone here who understands what they are going through and through they really need to feel this compassion”

The words he had uttered at that particular moment were for me like a blade crossing me through and through. The fact of not even having to imagine having to tell them to petrify me on the spot.  
But as Charles had said it was my duty, my responsibility to tell them. What I did, and it was horrible in spite of the presence of Dr. Charles, I could not help but shed all the tears of my body in the toilets of the hospital.

It was as I went out that I shoved Dr. Rhodes.

Dr. Rhodes was a very seductive man in a sexy Bad Boy style, and he knew it very well and he was playing it to have that gift he needed.  
He had already been very supportive during my first week in the ER, he had characterized himself as solidarity between newcomers which had made me laugh.  
He had also advised me not to be content with the pathology and maybe expanded my horizons ER and surgery. What I had never considered because of the human factor that was omnipresent. We had not spoken after this discussion, and life resumed its course.

That day, seeing my eyes puffy, he approached me and gave me a simple smile, replaced one of my curls behind my ear and wiped the last tear that I had on the cheek with his hand.  
I did not dare to look at him as my eyes automatically went to the floor, then he came closer and took me in these arms out of sight and told me how sorry he was for my patient by squeezing me Little stronger in these arms.

We stayed in this position a few minutes before he was picked up in the emergency room and had to leave.  
I returned home after this hard day, constantly thinking of that day, that horrible and frightful day.

The only thing I had the strength to do was to put myself in my bed, or I fell asleep in one go.

I had a dream that night, a fairly simple dream that had a lot of impact on me.

My father was seated at the table in the garden of our old house, he was looking at me, smiling at me, got up, pulled the chair beside him, asking me to join him, which I did without any apprehension.

I just wanted to find it, it seemed so real, it had not changed, I approached, I took it in my arms and at that moment I felt safe again as in the day in the arms Of Dr. Rhodes. Which gave me a feeling quite strange but not unpleasant.

I had a chat with my father a very pleasant conversation even though I knew what was not really real. He told me how proud he was of me, proud that I continue in spite of his death to follow my dreams.

That I had to stop surviving and finally start living a life my life, having friends go out, make me happy, met a boy even if for him I already knew him.  
I should certainly face such days as today but that for him I had found my way and that I had to continue to follow her.

Although it was difficult, and it was not going to become easier and harder, it was becoming harder and harder. I was his daughter his little daughter Sarah the strongest and most wonderful person he has ever met and that for that thanks to his I am and would be an excellent doctor.

These words, these words even - if it comes only from my imagination - makes me tremendously good.

When I woke up, my world was completely upset I did not know what to do. The only thing I was sure of was that I would be a doctor, I had no doubt about that, doctor of medicine and not pathology.

 

**Today was a new day, today I was not going to survive but LIVE.**

**to be continued**


	2. Chapter 2: The beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After dreaming sarah wants to do things differently, but the question that remains in suspense is How?

 

 

 

**Narrateur:**

Les derniers jours ont été assez difficiles, mais la nouvelle résolution de Sarah changerait-elle sa vie? Sa manière d'être?

Je dirais oui. Elle a finalement commencé à s'ouvrir aux gens qui l'entouraient, maintenant considérant beaucoup de ses collègues comme amis.

Cette semaine, elle a pris la décision, l'une des plus importantes de sa vie. Cela ne signifie peut-être rien pour vous, mais elle a décidé de commencer à vivre sa vie et donc de ne pas être spectateur.  
C'était compliqué, mais comme son père l'avait dit, elle n'avait rien à perdre, au contraire, elle ne pouvait sortir que victorieuse de cette expérience. 

 

**_Sarah:_ **

Aujourd'hui, tout va changer, je sais, je le sens, je dois vous rendre fier. Elle se disait mentalement, elle se prépara et se dirigea vers le métro de Chicago Med.

Quand je suis arrivé, j'ai vu Maggie se tenir au comptoir des infirmières. Maggie est l'une de ses personnes qui ne peut s'empêcher d'apprécier par sa gentillesse, seulement par ses actions, mais surtout par sa bonne humeur et son beau sourire. Depuis son premier jour, Maggi a été présentée à Sarah par Mme Goodwin comme son ange gardien qui l'a fait rire beaucoup.

 

**_Sarah:_ **

\- Bonjour, Maggie, comment vas-tu?

**_Maggie:_ **

\- Bien, mais c'est à vous que je devrais demander ça, ma belle? 

_Je ne savais pas pourquoi Maggie me demandait cela, elle n'était pas sur le même garde, quand je devais dire à Parker qu'il allait mourir._

**_Sarah:_ **

\- Je vais bien

**_Maggie:_ **

\- Vous m'assurez mon coeur? J'ai entendu que vous n'êtes pas en bonne forme à votre dernier garde, à cause d'un patient, vous voulez en parler?

**_Sarah:_ **

\- Comment sais-tu ça ? Vous n'étiez même pas en service ce soir-là ...

_Maggie m'interrompt en me prenant dans ces bras_

**_Maggie:_ **

\- You know ,beautiful nothing escapes me in this hospital, it is my baby and as a mother I see and I know everything

_She said to me with her fabulous smile I had no time to answer, what resumed her speech_

**_Maggie:_ **

\- Many people are worried about you. You know, we all went through there, and it's really not easy.

_Maggie, unwittingly, with her thoughtful words, succeeded in making me lose a few tears. That's why I took her in my arms. I had not noticed that other person was around us to listen to us._

**_Sarah:_ **

\- Maggie, I'm fine I assure you. you do not need to worry about me. And as you say it was a hard day and there will be plenty of others. I would do with I have no choice but to surpass my fears. And I assure you of one thing; I would be a doctor, a doctor who treats people, who will discover remedies against diseases like that of my father and Parker. This day was one of the worst of my life, but thanks to this day I could find a purpose and a reason to my life ,for my career.

_Maggie looked at me with a big smile, and eyes filled with tears. And when I turned around and saw several doctors and nurses who had also had tears in their eyes._

_I can tell you ,case this particular moment I felt extremely uncomfortable with all these people._

_Among these people there was one that attracted my attention, it was Dr. Rhodes and when my eyes were on him and he smiled at me, I felt ashamed but unfortunately for me Was not just an impression of Dr. Halstead's remark_.

**_Dr. Halstead (Will):_ **

There's nothing to be uncomfortable Reese, we all have a patient who changes our lives. and for you this patient is the little Parker.

_Maggie cut him off by announcing an entrance to the emergency room. The crowd dispersed, and everybody resumed their places._

**_Sarah_ **

Maggie maybe we could go out tonight? Go and have a drink. It's me who invites to Molly's. To thank you for being here for me ?

_Maggie smiles at me_

_**Maggie** _

With pleasure my dear.

_The day had been relatively short, the emergencies hadn't received any very serious case, April had called it "the day of broken arms" which made us all laugh before leaving._

_I waited for Maggie in front of the emergency room where I suggested to April to join us for a drink what she accepted. Once Maggie arrived we headed to the bar._

_The Molly's is a fairly typical bar but at the very least atypical held by Firefighters of the barracks 51. It is one of the owners Hermann who welcomes us with a big smile as we_ _install it as he says so well at "his best table" ._

_Once installed April commissioned a tour and we began to talk._

**_April_ **

So the girls ,to whom do we owe this little evening ?

**_Maggie_ **

\- This girls' night is from Sarah

**_April_ **

\- Really ?

**_Sarah_ **

Yes, I thought it was time for me to let people and friends into my life, and no longer live as the solitary and asocial person for whom people take me.

**_Maggie_ **

\- You're right my big one we all need friends

**_April_ **

\- So let's have a toast at this girls' party

_Everything was going well, really we laughed, talked about everything and nothing about our respective lives, our past etc ..._

**_Maggie_ **

Then Sarah , talks usa little about your love life.

**_Sarah_ **

\- My love life? To me ? Maggie, did you look at me? The only people who ever called me my beautiful is you and my Dad

**_April_ **

\- What are you telling us? A girl as cute as you has no men in his life?

**_Sarah_ **

\- What do you want ? I am a girl all that has more banal, and more she's unsure about her.

**_Maggie_ **

\- You talk, a lot of men likes you Sarah do not worry

**_Sarah_ **

\- I would like to believe you Maggie. But when you think about it, I'm 25 years old I never had a boyfriend because I am a nerd . And as my mother repeated to me, "you should put a little of yours Sarah!

**_April_ **

\- Your mother tells you things like that?

**_Sarah_ **

\- Yes, but in his defense we have never been close and my brothers keep telling me that I remind him of our father. that is why she is always and always was hard with me

**_Maggie_ **

\- Believe me Sarah, your mother should not treat you like that. And I know that a handsome and attractive Doctor cares a lot for you. He was really bad and asked me to look after you.

**_April_ **

\- Who ? Maggie tells us all ...

**_Sarah_ **

\- Really?

**_Maggie_ **

"Do you know who it is?"

_À ma tête, la seule personne qui m'avait intéressé ce jour-là était le Dr Rhodes, mais ce n'était pas possible. Le Dr Rhodes ressemblait à ces mannequins que vous pouviez voir dans les magazines_

**_Sarah_ **

"Et si nous changeons de sujet?" _En me voyant mal à l'aise, tous les deux hochaient la tête_

_Le reste de la soirée est allé tranquillement, nous avons continué à parler et à boire principalement en buvant, c'était une excellente soirée, je me souviendrais, c'était mon premier voyage depuis que je suis arrivé à Chicago et j'ai vraiment bien aimé, je suis rentré chez moi avec cette bonne mémoire de Cette merveilleuse soirée._

 

 

 

_**À continuer ... merci pour la lecture, laisse des critiques si vous l'avez aimé ^^** _

 


	3. His point of view

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of course all this was not a new city, a new job, but again, and this girl, this pretty brunette with a curl that left him anything but indifferent, but to whom he forbade himself to think, and who decided to To abandon.  
> But what Connor did not know yet is that this girl would have an impact on her life whether he liked it or not it would be beyond her.

 

**Narrator:**

Of course all this was not a new city, a new job, and this girl, this pretty brunette with a curl that left him anything but indifferent, but to whom he forbade himself to think, and who decided to give up.

But what Connor did not know yet is that this girl would have an impact on her life whether he liked it or not it would be beyond her.

**_Connor:_ **

I had been in the hospital for almost 48 hours now, I was exhausted especially since the forst 24h before. I did not know what to think, I had heard that Dr. Reese was on a rather complicated case and that she had asked Dr. Charles for help.

Dr. Reese was one of those people who it was easy to care for, to appreciate all this through his simplicity, his innocence, his whole being.

It was the first time I met her at Chicago Med, we were both new to the team.

I got closer to her during my first week in the Med. It seemed like a simple thing to be there and listening to her was good.

I had no friends at the time, and I still regret the fact that I put it aside. Even if we had only some discussion, Our conversation misses me...

So when I heard the rumors in the corridors, that Dr. Reese had gone to cry in the bathroom, I could not help but to meet her to console her, it was stronger than I could see her suffer.

It was when I went out that she jostled me, I looked at her and saw a face that usually was radiant thanks to a smile and beautiful brown eyes, ravaged by sadness in her eyes that sparkled every day of the week seemed to carry all the pain Of this world.

At that moment I thought my heart was ripping, so I smiled at her, replaced these loops to clear her beautiful face and wiped away the last tears that ran down her cheeks. I could not resist the urge to press her against me.

I could not tell you whether it was for my own good or for hers, but I had to tell her how sorry I was for her young patient by hugging her more and more in my arms.

I stayed in that position with Sarah in my arms ,out of sight several minutes before my biper sounds and ruin that moment. I had no choice but to go by leaving her there.

After finishing with my emergency patient I went to the nurses' office where I saw Maggie

**Connor:**

\- Good evening Maggie, have you seen Sarah, uh, Dr. Reese?

**Maggie**

\- Good evening Dr. Rhodes, yes she has just left she must be tired

**Connor**

\- Did she have to looked ok, be well ?

**Maggie**

\- Be well ?

**Connor**

\- Yes, she had a hard day a very difficult case with a child and I worry about her.

_Maggie answered with a smile I had just told her involuntarily that Sarah was important to me, and that I cared about her._

**Maggie**

\- I see, she only picks up her custody tomorrow afternoon, I'd go discuss with her. don't worries Dr. Rhodes she's in good hands

**Connor**

\- I do not doubt, Maggie

_I went back to my business by constantly looking at the clock to see if Reese had arrived._

Several hours had passed and I saw her at the counter with Maggie . She displayed her beautiful smile that she usually had, she spoke with Maggie and took each other in their arms, and all the people around me listened scrupulously to what Sarah was saying .

**Sarah**

" Maggie, I'm fine I promise you you don't need to worry about me. And, as you say it was a hard day and there will be plenty of others, I would do with it , I have no choice but to surpass my fears. And I assure you of one thing, I will be a doctor, a doctor who treats people, who will discover remedies against diseases like that of my father and Parker. This day was one of the worst days of my life but thanks to this day I was able to find a purpose and a reason for my life in my career."

A speech that surprised more than one, of which I. I did not think that in her life she has already enduring so much sufferings even if this was only implied in her intonation and the few tears she allowed to escape.

I could only appreciate it. But what was she going to do? I should not have thoughts like this towards her. After all, I'm her boss, no good will be able to get out of this?

I took care of a patient in the emergency room, which helped the crowd who had piled up at the counter, and allowed me to change my mind. But this did not last long.In spite of myself, my eyes looked for her in the emergencies as if I had no control of my body. And when my gaze landed on her, it was as if my heart was slowing, down an uncontrollable slow motion.

I was not the only one to notice this sudden interest in Sarah, Maggie followed me as soon as Sarah was around.

I'm not that kind of guy to fall in love, it was the first time a thing like that happened to me. I had several girlfriends saw a lot but I had never felt so much love, feelings as strong that seemed to be sincere.

How was this possible ? I did not even know. We have nothing in common. I am an outgoing person, arrogant, I play my physique, I am not someone to ask who stays in a long relation . I'm a womanizer.

And she seems to be, simple, intelligent, naturally beautiful person,  who must surely be a girl posed, you know it's a very reserved girl who falls in love with their high school love and stays for years with the same man that looks quite like To Sarah.

I am not a man for her, I will only make her suffer , a man like me, with all these luggage could bring her but sorrow? ...

A few hours later I saw her leave with April and Maggie, so I finish my guard with all kinds of questions in mind. I walked to the locker room to take my things where I met Will who started talking

**Will**

Wath about this day ? You have the worried area

**Connor**

There are days like that, you know. And you ?

**Will**

You want to talk around  drink. At molly's we could join the girls.

**Connor**

Girls ?

**Will**

Yes. Maggie, Sarah and April

**Connor**

No I'm not too much of a mood, another night.

**Will**

You really do not want to talk ?  you look like you need it Connor

**Connor**

I just have one thing in mind, which keeps coming back to me in the face  
_He cut me off and said with a smirk on my lips_

**Will**

"A girl, a girl, that's your grip.

**Connor**

\- Gripping, harpooning made prisoner

**Will**

\- At this point ? What then is this marvelous young girl who has succeeded in robbing your heart of you? _He said with a laugh_

**Connor**

\- If it was only my heart I could manage but there it is all my being that she has alpagued

**Will**

\- Do I know her ?

**Connor**

\- Yes, we work together and / _He cut me off again_

**Will**

\- No it is not possible such a beautiful creature gets you drunk and I haven't noticed anything ?and even more we work together ?! There is not much choice in this case ... haha

**Connor**

\- Will , it's not  funny,  it's serious!

**Will**

\- I think she took your life, you are no longer free now.

**Connor  
**

"Are we always talking about myself or about you and Manning?"

**Will**

"And now you're the one who's tired of yourself?"

**Connor**

\- Excuse me Will. you're right, I am no longer myself and it is not easy said to face all alone.

**Will**

\- Didn't you tell her?

**Connor**

No I'm not a good person for her, she deserves much better, I do not want to hurt her, I mean too much to her.

**Will**

You are completely bitten 

**Connor**

I never felt like this, it is horrible.

**Will**

Sarah is a good girl, you know, and I see that you really love her. You should talk to her ,especially with all she is currently living ,Connor.

**Connor  
**

How did you know ? 

**Will**

She's at molly's tonight and you would never have refused a drink, am I wrong ?

**Connor**

No

**Will**

Don't worry everything will go well . Who would say no, to the fabulous Dr. Rhodes seriously ! haha . Good I have to leave you good evening Connor

**Connor**

Good evening Will

It was on this discussion that I took the way home constantly thinking about this conversation . 

 To be continued


	4. Chapter 4: Memories that heal

 

 

 

** Narrator: **

  
It's been three days now that Sarah has not returning to the Chicago Med, not thinking she avoids it. Part of her graduation program is in the Department of Medicine at the University of Chicago and for that reason she has not been in the Med for the last three days.

  
This allowed her to take a step back from what Maggie had told her at their girls' party. She had never thought that Connor Rhodes, the great and renowned Dr. Rhodes, could one day be interested in an uninteresting girl like her. How could this even be a possibility ? She is not one of her girls who comes out of a magazine

  
Maybe that's why she never had a couple relationship? For this very cute young girl, very intelligent and very mature for her age, underestimating herself in such a way that she no longer trusts in anyone and in herself what reflects the sadness of her past life.All this would surely result from the relationship, or rather I would say, from the hold that her mother had over her.

  
She decided to take everything that would happen with more lightness, to no longer control her actions in the same way as in the past, to leave her mother and her prejudices behind and listen to her father's advice and not be afraid to live.

 

** Sarah **

  
These three days away from the hospital did me a lot of good, it allowed me to think about who I was and who I am.

  
And the conclusion that I could make of it suited me. I had to remain who I am in my heart, to remain myself but not to remain alone, not to live my life as a spectator but as a main actor.

  
As my father kept repeating to us when we were young to my brothers and myself:

  
'' Children, you can do what you want, you have the power, everything is in your hands and this will always be the case. All you have to do is to try this extraordinary flight that will take you to the most beautiful summits or opposite you will fall in free fall towards the underworld, but I assure you that the game is worth it. Even if you burn your wings, you will only have to climb each of the life obstacles to start again and again '' '

  
I am sure that in his words it was the solution to all my hesitations and that was the case. I had to try this extraordinary take-off.

  


** Connor **

  
It's been three days now since I've been supporting Will's cowardice, all his insinuations about Sarah.

  
Even though most of his statements were true, I could not help but blame him. What I had told his was personal and the fact of making me all his little reflections, although Innocent, in public, I was uncomfortable with it.

  
I did not want to risk that she did not learn it, to spoil everything before she had the chance to meet. It's not that I did not know her, I just never talked to her outside of the Med, and even if I wanted to, it would have been difficult. Before her trip with Maggie and April I do not remember having seen her one day at Molly's, she seemed to be the kind of woman with a day job type subway, job, sleep. A young woman who does not come out, masses watching series on Netflix in the evening to pass the time. And that does not bother me at all, I imagined myself at her side after a hard day, sitting on my couch watching Game of Throne.

  
It was probably for that reason that I was also afraid. I did not even know how to approach it, Sarah is a nice girl so I have to do things right. I can not get the guest right away to have a drink, because one she would probably say no, and two, it is not how I want this to happen.

  
I did not know where I was, I did not know what to do, but I knew I wanted her. I'm not going to deny what I just said is macho, and I know it would surely not be beneficial for Sarah, but what I feel today I can no longer deny it. It was a new feeling that I had never faced before, and that terrified me, I felt like I was back in the high school yard when the boys were still clumsy with the girls.

  
I stood in the rest room next to Will when Sarah came in to ask her stuff, I did not know what to do at the moment, but Will had an idea. I see it in his eyes.

 

** Will **

  
Hello Reese, so how are you?

  
** Sarah **

  
Dr. Halstead, Dr. Rhodes ,I'm fine, really good and you?  She said with a big smile

 

** Will **

  
Your good humor delights me, unlike Rhodes who is grumbling for several days.   
He said ,amusing by the situation

  
** Connor **

  
Will! I'm fine!

  
I could not refrain from saying this sentence roughly so that Will understood that it was not a game.

  
** Will **

  
Calm, my great, she would notice it anyway. You saw, Reese, I was not lying.

  
** Sarah **

  
You may be the cause of his bad mood, so leave him alone a day to see if he is still execrable

  
He said amusingly nailing Will's beak which made me laugh

  
** Connor **

  
Thank you, Reese, I say with a smile, you know, Will, she's right, you should follow her advice .she went out smiling from the rest room leaving us both

  
** Will **

  
You make fun of me, I know that it is not me the cause but she, you had an opportunity and you let it pass ,pfff ....

  
** Connor **

  
I do not care about it, I just want to go slowly Will, I do not want to tell her I like her in the locker room with you next to me, I want to do things right.

 

** Will **

  
Who are you ? And what have you done to Connor Rhodes?  He said amusing before we pitched at the mine.

  
I confess that after Sarah's reflection on Will, to defend me in a good mood all day, even though I only saw her for a few minutes, her smile remained in my memory during all this guard.

  
Will left me alone, which I could not help but rejoice, I went back to my apartment that evening, constantly thinking of her beautiful smile and the respondent in the locker room, all this only reinforced my desire, Experienced and confronted me with the idea that I had to find a way, elaborated a strategy in order to conquer it.

  
Admittedly all this was exaggerated but did I really have other choices? I had fallen under her charm, she had bewitched me so I had to find a plan to bewitch her in my turn to conquer her.

  
I fell asleep there with the memory of that day more than perfect for my taste. The only thought of the smile of this beautiful brunette made me smile ...

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5: The questioning

** Narrator: **

  
This week, it was rather good for our two doctors, Connor had become aware of the feelings he felt for our beautiful brunette, He even tried to put a strategy so that she notices him.

  
What he did not know was that our young student with brown eyes, also sought to attract his attention, subtly, I would even say imperceptible. It must be said that Sarah did not know how to go about it, the meetings never entered its fields of competence. It was something new to her, and it was difficult because of her lack of self-confidence. Things she really wanted to work on.

  
She knew full well that she would not be able to do it alone, which is why she multiplied girls' outings. She felt like she was moving forward, and it was all that mattered to her, moving forward to get to talk to her, become friends and maybe more, but she still had a hard time imagining the beautiful Connor Rhodes with her. Was she good enough for him?

  
What, I found was rather ironic. Don't you think so? This two people think of one another without admitting it, to wonder whether they are good enough for the other without having tried anything so far.

  
Every time I look at each one of them, I feel like I'm hearing a soundtrack. An old song Aerosmith "I don't want To miss a thing". You know like in these movies and TV series, when the characters are meant to be together, but take forever to realize it.

  
And that's what was going to happen with our two characters. This is not to displease us. The great love stories often begin with a great friendship.

 

** Connor **

  
I was asking myself more and more questions. After all that would not arise? Maybe I should just get to know her, go there slowly without her suspecting anything, without arousing suspicion? After all, I have nothing to lose. Will is right, it's a good girl that's maybe why I should just start again or start our friendship like the first week, without a second thought.

  
Start again to listen to have conversations, simple conversations, as at the beginning. Learn to know her this way so as not to spoil everything, if one day I plan to try anything with her.

  
Going gently does not make me a coward? No of course not, it's just a way to secure my back. Do everything possible so that no one suffers, be it me or her.

  
So, as you can see, my rest weekend has not really been any rest, I have constantly tortured my mind in order to know what to do, make the decision, the right decision.

  
It is therefore quite reluctant and nervous that I return to the Med this morning. This apprehension was quite normal after all, since Will was aware of my feelings for Sarah. And Will is not discreet ... I would even say heavy at times like a few days ago in the rest room when Sarah had blown it in my defense, not that it displeases me, but I Would like all this to happen without anyone getting involved and knowing Will I do not think this is one of my possibilities.

  
So I was heading towards the Med with all my thoughts in mind, when someone calls me I did not immediately react because of all my thoughts so I turned to that person when she patted me lightly on the shoulder. It was Maggie.

 

** Maggie **

  
Dr. Rhodes, what about this recovery weekend? She said with a big smile

  
** Connor **

  
Oh, hello Maggie, well not so restful that after all, I said, raising my eyes to heaven   
And how are you ?

  
** Maggie **

  
Well, unlike you, my weekend was quite nice, I would say radiant. Although I was on guard all along, she said winking at me with her head turned to Sarah and adding.

  
But, after all, it is surely thanks to the people who were present smiling you have probably been due to me notice that me is not it? Always displaying that same smile.

  
** Connor **

  
Maggie .... I said, sighing and looking in the same direction,

  
It's not a good idea, but you're probably right, I'd rather not think about it and stop talking about it if you'd like, I said before leaving

  
This brief conversation with Maggie before starting my service only reinforced my choice. I have to stay away for less at the moment, but nevertheless be present, start with a friendship a simple friendship.

 

**To be continued with a sad chapter ^^**


	6. Chapter 6: Bad Memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Hello everyone :) , so here is the new chaptre of this story a Little sad but I hope that you will still enjoyed it ^^.
> 
> Please if you have time leave me a comment or vote , and tell me what you think I really want to know :) thank you and good reading everyone :p
> 
> Still thanks for your support its mean a lot for me ^^

** Narrator: **

  
Connor had decided to begin his relationship with Sarah by a friendship. To come nearer, to support her as best he can as a friend, a simple friend. In order to create a true relationship, a sincere relationship without a hitch.

  
Sarah enjoyed going out with her friends, she felt at last living. She was happy, not that she was not before, but the feelings she felt were more intense than in the past.

  
The old Sarah was still there, but she had given way to a new and more fulfilling young woman, which would delight more than one.

  
But this was without counting on a memory, a painful memory anchored in her ..

 

 

** Sarah **

  
I did not want to get out of bed this morning. I did not want to face this day. I wanted to stay here, in my bed without moving, waiting for the next day. Certainly, that would not change anything, to pretend that this day did not exist will not help things, but I will not solve it either.

  
I remained lying in my bed without moving any muscle, crying for nearly an hour, until my phone rang.

  
It was my mother. But I did not have the strength to face it, especially today, it had been nearly 10 years that my father had died, or rather exactly 10 years. And I still felt as much pain as at 10 years ago.

  
My mother has never been one of those sentimental people, losing her husband didn't change her, losing someone you love would change anyone. And every year at the same time I had the right to this phone call, where every year I did not pick up, which sent it constantly on my voice mailbox. Or I had the right to the same message.

  
"Hello, Sarah, it's your mother, you know, I'm sorry, but you have to move on!" "Well, since I'm on your answering machine again, I hope you're well away I would like you to visit us, we are your family and you are not even present with us on the day of your birthday. I know that it makes a lot of trouble to your brothers then if is Not for you at least answer their message. Do it for them.   
Happy Birthday. "

  
I thought that perhaps my mother would understand one day that the fact that my birthday falls on the same day as my father's death did not necessarily make me happy to party. But do not ask too much, she still calls me every year to wish it to me and it reminds him also of one of the most difficult moments of his life.

I knew this day was going to be tough, but I could not get pale for that either. So I shook myself in order to get out of my bed then I went to take a good shower in order to try to wake me up and I left for the subway.

  
Walking down the street, my phone rang again.

  
It was Tobby, one of my four brothers. He lives in Washington, he also had left home to do law school. He works at the White House, although he is only an assistant lawyer. I am very proud of him. And my mother, too, her dear son was doing the same studies as she did in the past. And he was really gifted he had his in blood.

  
** Sarah **

  
Hello, Mr. Lawyer, how is life in the capital?  I Say laughing

  
** Tobby **

  
Hi, Princess, I'm glad to hear your voice

  
** Sarah **

  
So this Job?

  
** Tobby **

  
Well, I like my job a lot, but you know it already . He said laughing in his turn, 

How are you?

  
** Sarah **

Tobby ... I ... you know, you know me, so why do you ask me this question ? you wanna make me cry ?  I said a little desperately, letting out a breath of air.

  
It was then that he started a video call that I opened

 

** Tobby **

  
Sarah, I am worried about you  I am your big brother and you are my little sister, my only little sister, and knowing that you can suffer today hurts me. I can not help it, and neither do you, he tells me seriously.  Looking me in the eyes

  
** Sarah **

  
Sorry, I did not want you to worry for me, I'm fine, I say with a little smile   
At that moment I heard a voice behind me calling me

  
** Connor **

  
Resse

  
** Sarah **

  
Dr. Rhodes, how are you?

  
** Connor **

  
Thank you, but I should ask you this question,  he said with a smile

  
** T obby **

  
Nice to meet you me it is Tobby, I introduce myself as my sister does not!

  
He let out a laugh as for me I had turned red, my brothers always knew how to make me uneasy in front of others.

  
** Sarah **

  
Uh, yeah, sorry, I'll introduce my brother Tobby one of my four brothers

 

** Connor **

  
Nice to meet you, but you can call me Connor

 

** T obby **

  
So, Connor, you work with my sister don't you ?

  
** Connor **

  
Yes, all done, besides he is a very good doctor

  
** Tobby **

  
Well, princess, you had hidden us that said so, at the same time if you called more often or if you visit us it could be haha

  
** Sarah **

  
Tobby, I'm telling you that I'm in the fourth year, and that my schedule is loaded between the guards I have to insure, my courses and exams. I don't have the time to see you, and besides you do Come to see us when you were studying, Mister the Lawyer!

  
** Tobby **

  
Well, Connor, what I see my sister is still and always a robot   
Dr. Rhodes laughed

  
** Connor **

  
No, on the contrary I do not think, given the time she spends talking with patients, and how interested she was , he said nicely

  
** Tobby **

  
You, Sarah Reese, you interact with people ? real people of a mocking area

  
** Sarah **

  
Whether you believe it or not, yes, I interact with people, and I even think I'm pretty good, gentleman. I said in the same tone as him, which made them both laugh

  
Good truce of gossip we are going to have to leave you we are arriving at the Med.

 

** Tobby **

  
Very well pfff ... .., since you're in Chicago you do not even have time for me pfff ... but, hey, I'll do with haha and Sarah. I know you do not like me to say it, but .... HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRINCESS "he shouted and hung up before I could even answer

  
** Connor **

  
Well…

  
** Sarah **

  
You can call me Sarah, and yes indeed, it's my birthday, but please do not tell anyone I don't like to celebrate it for personal reasons, for good reason, believe me ....

  
** Connor **

  
No problem, Sarah I would not say anything, but if I call you by your first name does the same, he said with a smile before entering the emergency room approached me and said, but I wish you anyway A happy birthday smiling

  
** Sarah **

  
Thank you, uh, I mean Connor, having a good day

  
** Connor **

  
What would you say if I invit you to lunch? Will this be my birthday gift? He said discreetly.

  
I laughed, and nodded before going to take my guard

  **TO BE continued .....**

 

_**Thank's for the reading ;) please leave me a comment and tell me what you think's about have a nice day kiss ^^** _


	7. the lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To know each other is already a big step, don't you think's ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone :D hope that you all will forgive me for the delay ^^ it was a littel crazy around me so Let's leave it there, to a new chapter :P
> 
> I hope that you will liked this chapter good reading ;)

** Narrator **

The morning had been rather busy, what arranged Sarah. All the income ,go and come had allowed her to forget, where would I say blurred the fact that today was her birthday as well as the anniversary of the death of her father.

The day wasn't likely to be quite relaxing, but the meeting with Connor in the metro had, so to speak, brighten her on a day like this. The fact that Connor invited him to lunch was really her nice for this day, without to relieve her, because the latter would surely ask him questions.

**Sarah**  


Well, it's finally time for lunch and I confess that I'm starving, at the same time it's no wonder. I left this morning with a empty belly , and it's almost 1pm.  


I have to lunch with Connor, and I confess that I 'm afraid. Not of him, but of the questions that he could ask me.and especially for my reactions to it.  


That's why, despite my hunger I didn't rush to the cafeteria. So I was slowly heading towards the cafeteria, when Connor interupt me  


 

** Connor **  


So, Sarah , ready for this lunch? _He said with a smile_  


 

**Sarah**  


We will say yes  


 

** Connor **

Well I was expecting a better answer ahah  


 

** Sarah **

No, don't take it for you. It's just that it's not a good day, _I say with a shy smile_  


 

** Connor **

Ok, so let's eat so we can celebrate your no birthday

 

** S arah **

Okay, I'm dying of hunger  


We then head towards the self before we settle down to a table in the hall a little away from the looks

 

** Connor **

So Mademoiselle Reese, how old are you today? If I may be indiscreet?  


 

** Sarah **

Well, my age isn't a state secret, "I laughed," I'm 26 years old today, and yes I still look like a teenager, but for your guidance, I can't make anything to change that.  


_I was trying to do some humor things in order to avoid collapsing_  


 

** Connor **

_He smiled at me and answered me_. "effectively, 26 years old it is young, but you look like in my opinion more to a young woman than a teenager. And would you please stop checking me?  


 

** Sarah **

OK I will try, and thank you for this compliment . _I felt blush and at the same time Connor laugh_  


 

** Connor **

So you have four brothers that's it ?  


 

** Sarah **

Yes, four  overprotective big brothers . _I say a little jaded what made him laugh again_  


They are very nice, I love them but I am their only little sister and they tend to remind me that constantly and use it as an excuse at all ends.

 

** Connor **

I also have a little sister and I confess that I'm like them, although I'm not as close to her since I left a few years ago, but I try to paste the pieces together.  


So, this morning I met Tobby right?

 

 

** Sarah **

So, as a little sister of four brothers, I can only give you a piece of advice, but it's the most precious thing. _I say seriously_

If you hurt her in any way, don't justify yourself by saying:

"But you're my little sister, my only little sister, and all I'm doing is protecting you"  Because I can assure you that, in our heads "we our dear little sisters adored and defenseless one imagines a plan to kill you " _I say by letting a laugh escape_

And yes this morning you met Tobby he is a lawyer like my mother  


 

** Connor **

I take note although now I absolutely don't know what to tell her ahah i will have to work on a speech . _he says to me passing his hand behind his neck_  


But let's get back to our main topic, it's your non-birthday so we talk about your family, _he said with a smile to which I answer with a frown._  


Two lawyers and a doctor in one family, only great careers. and your three other brothers what they made in their life?  


 

** Sarah **

First as you said it's" my non-birthday " so it's up to me to dictate the rules! So I would talk to you about my family if you tell me about yours. _I say with a satisfied air_

 

** Connor **

Ok, so let's say one question each on any topic, deal , _he said, raising arm-like arms as if to seal to walk with a handshake._  


 

** Sarah **

Okay, those terms seem to be okay, _I said smiling slightly before shaking his hand._

 

** Connor **

So what is the answer to my question? _He said in satisfied turn_

 

 **Sarah**    


Yes, then, as I have already told you, I have four brothers.

There's Tobby, the lawyer you met this morning. He lives in Washington, after we have my brother Taylor who is a firefighter in New York, he wanted to stay near the house.

And my two brothers Ben and Kyles are twins, they're staying in Boston with my mom and they're both policeman.

And then what is your sister doing?  


 

** Connor **

Yes, you all have trades that aim to help others, charitable souls. _He said with a smile._

  
Well Claire looks after the galleries of my father's mall. _In pronouncing these words I felt uncomfortable, which made me sorry_  
So you're close to your family?

  
** Sarah **

Well yes and no, finally I think so, it depends on the day, at the time I was quite confused I did not really know what to answer him.  
Especially Tobby and it's probably because it's the only one to have figured out why I had to leave home. Get away from Boston and especially from my mother.  
I've never really been close to her. _I say a little beyond the question_  
As you can see it's complicated

  
Why did you leave Chicago?

 

** Connor **

I see, well, we will say that I was never close to my father, I was only close to my grandfather. He did everything to make me became the opposite of his son. And I could never thank him enough for this gift _he said with a smile._ After the death of my grandfather I had to get away from here, I could no longer bear my father and his manners, all the tricks he could do. And I could not forgive him ... forgive him what he did to my mother.

  
_ I understood at the time that I had to change subject Connor had not considered talking about this part of his life. That is why I interrupted him _

 

** Sarah **

Thank you very much, really for this lunch _I say with a smile_

  
** Connor **

  
It was a real pleasure to have lunch with you and get to know you even if I still have a question _he said, a little disconcerted_

I do not want to make you feel uncomfortable or whatever, but why do not you want to celebrate your birthday?

  
** Sarah **

Uh, it's just that it does not fall a good day ...

 

** Connor **

What do you mean ?  


  
** Sarah **

  
Well my birthday also falls ... _I took a deep breath like to calm down before answering him_. The day of the anniversary of my father's death.  
_ I confess that in saying his words my vision was troubled, suspected it because of the tears I forbade myself to pour _

  
** Connor **

  
I'm really sorry I did not know. " _He said, coming to sit beside me before taking me in his arms,_  
Excuse me I didn’t want to make you cry, I can’t bear to see you cry ... .forgave me, I should not have asked this question  
_ These words were the most sincere thing I heard of the day _

 

** Sarah **

It's okay, don’t worry, it's gonna to be fine, it's not a good day, I'd be better tomorrow. It does not matter, you could not know, _I said staying in his arms while wiping my eyes,_  
And for information, I do not like when we see me cry ... _I say to relax the atmosphere_

  
** Connor **

  
_He let out a little laugh_ , okay ... _he dropped me gently when he saw Dr.Halstead enter the cafeteria followed by Dr.Maning_

  


** Will **

  
Hello, _he said with a lip smile,_ I interrupted a few things?

  
** Sarah **

  
No, not at all, besides I'll leave you, it's time to go back to work

  
** Connor **

  
Wait, what are you doing tonight?

  
** Sarah **

  
I'm tired, I think I'll go straight back to bed.

 Doctor Halstead was really surprised that Connor asked this question which left me pensive.

 

**Connor**  


 

  
Come with us at Molly's, just for a drink. I do not want you to be left alone **.  ** _ He said wich a concerned area  _

  
** Will **

  
Uh ... yes, Reese the more we are, the more we laugh, there will be Maning and April

  
** Sarah **  


I do not know …. _I did not have time to finish my sentence that Connor cut me_  


 

 

** Connor **  


Anyway it was not a question, _he approached me and said in my ear_

You will not be left alone tonight to crush black, and as a friend the only way to make sure is that you come with us.  


Otherwise I would spend a pitiful evening wondering if you are okay, and it would not be really nice of you. _He said, turning around and sat down,_

 

** Sarah **

Ok, very well, I come, but next time tries to find another way than to make me feel guilty ,Connor  _D r. Manning came to the table, a little lost, not understanding why I had spoken in this way to Connor_

 

** Maning **  


Uh, is everything okay?  


 

 

** Connor **  


Yeah, all right, Sarah joins us tonight for a drink, _and she's just a little snarling he said, amused_  


 

 

** Sarah **  


Snarling ? really ? _I said a little annoyed at Connor who seems_ _ amused by this situation _  


 

** Maning **  


The more one is, the more one laughs _she tells me with a smile_ , I can not wait to be tonight  


On these words Connor and I smiled because Dr.Halstead had the same expression  


 

** Sarah **

Anyway ... I have no other choice, do I?  


 

** Connor **  


No, none _said he was proud enough of him_  


 

 

** Sarah **  


If you will excuse me I have to go back to work.  This discussion with Connor had really done me good, I knew I could trust him.  


He had become in the space of a luncheon my friend, he knew more about me in 1h than anyone in this city.  


 

 

And he was probably the only person to have any influence on me at that particular moment in my life.  


To be continued.... 

 

**Thank's for the reading ^^ please tell me what you things I like to hnow ;) the next will comme very soon bye have a nice day :)**


	8. Molly's part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note : Hi everyone I'm back sorry for the wait :) 
> 
> I really wanted to thank you for all the support you bring me thank's for the number of seen, thank you all,
> 
> So good reading to all of you hope that you will still enjoy it :D
> 
> ( please if you like it let me know what do you think)

Narrator:

The rest of the afternoon has spent without too much trouble, but Sarah still feared the evenings he was waiting for. His other brothers had telephoned him during the day to wish her her birthday. But Sarah was evasive on the phone, which did not reassure the latter who had contacted Tobby so that he would go see her since he was the closest to our young doctor.

Sarah

My day was finally over, I only wanted one thing : to go home. Put me under the covers and wait for that day to pass. But now Connor had forced me to come to the Molly's, because he did not want me to stay alone. I knew I should never have told him, but well what is done is done. We will not go back.

So I went to the locker room to change and take my things. Once I changed, my phone rang it was Tobby again. On the spot, I told you I was hesitant to answer, because I was not alone in the vestary Dr. Manning was preparing just like me and Dr halstead and Connor entered in turn. But because that was Tobby, I answered discreetly

Tobby:

Well, you'll tell me what's going on! He said on the nerve. What is this bullshit?

Sarah

Eh Ho, who do you think you are? I said loudly against my will, all the person present looked at me surprised

Tobby

Pardon, it's a joke! I received about fifteen messages from everyone who said to me: calls Sarah she's not going well she's going to make a bullshit, she's not as usual, we worry. It is you who dwell closest to join her in chicago. He said to me of a draft  
without catching his breath

Sarah

I'll have to tell you how many times. shit !! I ask for a day, a day a year, or I want to be left alone. It is too much to ask you, shit then ... I admit that on the blows I can not restrain myself to say all this to tobby that he was worrying for barely his words pronounced I regretted them immediately, moreover my Colleague scrutinized me

Connor

Everything is fine ?

Sarah

Yes, excuse me. I said, watching them Tobby pardon me, I'm sorry I assure you, it's okay, it was just a long day. Do not worry and others do not need to worry either. I go out with colleagues this evening, and were about to leave. I said sincerely to the phone

Tobby

I do not know Sarah, I do not know if I can believe you ... you never told me about a colleague or friends . I am at the airport I take the next flight to chicago

Sarah

No, Tobby! It's out of question. I moved closer to Connor handing him the phone

*************  
Connor

Hello?

Tobby

Connor?

Connor

Yes is there a problem?

Tobby

It's just that I'm worried about Sarah and I'm not the only one my other brothers too, and we do not want to leave her alone for her birthday so I'm taking the next flight to Chicago

Connor

I do not think it's a good idea, listen I totally agree with you and she will not stay alone today I will stay with her. To tell you I'm even blackmailed for her to have a drink this evening with some colleague. I said looking at sarah under the look of Manning and Will who did not understand what was going on and who I could talk to

Tobby

You do not understand, it's not that her birthday! Connor cut him

Connor

I know it and that's why it is not a good idea that you come to chicago tonight, leave her space, I would take care of everything

Tobby

I do not want her to suffer

Connor

Me neither, it's the last thing I want. I said sincerely, then went to the shower cubicle to continue the discussion.  
I would not leave her alone, there is no question, whether she likes it or not, at least tonight she is stuck with me

Tobby

Do you really care about her?

Connor

I would be lying if I told you, no.

Tobby

Connor, take care of her, swear it, or I get into this flight

Connor

You do not have to worry, and now I'm going to hang up and I'm going to join Sarah, who seems to be nervous. good night. I hung up immediately to give him no chance to answer.

So I went again to my colleagues who all looked at me. I renamed Sarah's phone in my pocket under the eyes of the latter

You're ready ? Or will we stay here all evening?

All three responded with an acquiescence, we all headed toward Sarah's exit at my side

 

Sarah

What / I cut it and looked at it  
Connor

It's okay, everything is settled, do not worry, he will not come tonight, I say with a smile. Once out of the hospital Natalie, April and Will took the same car and Sarah and I, mine to head towards the Molly.

I waited a few minutes before starting the car? Sarah looked embarrassed, and said I too did not know what to say, talking to her was so simple but so complicated that I did not even know how to start a simple conversation

Sarah

Sorry to have you pass Tobby, I was nervous and I did not know how to get rid of him. By looking at the ground

Connor

It's nothing, Sarah, do not worry, he just gets worried for you, he your brother. It's in his nature. Do not take your head with it now we're going to have a good evening, have a drink, and I'll take you home. I smiled a smile before I parked in front of the Molly's.

Sarah

Okay, I'll try it, she said making me smile  
Connor, just don't talk about my birthday, agree? She said as she stepped out of the car

Connor

If you do not want to tell them it's your choice. I respect it but I would still like to wish it to you, I said, heading towards her to go to the bar

Sarah

I prefer not to say anything, she said turning to me before opening the door before entering the bar and join our colleagues

to be continued


End file.
